Hi.... What you do in this relationship is completely upon you but you do need to work upon the reasons why you so desperately want to go back to this person who used you and left you. Why their is such a dire need to get love from where you got the deepest pain at the first place. Your desperation, lowered self-esteem, compulsive behaviours, all suggest underlying childhood issues, most probably related to an early childhood care giver (parent/grandparent/etc.). Do work upon releasing such issues from your subconscious mind, else you will always be driven to rejection, exploitation, and disrespect in various forms in your life.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
Psychoanalysis along with Interpersonal Relationship Counselling is required.
Health Tips
Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fECHB08?ref=cl