I am able to understand your current situation. You seem to be suffering from depressive symptoms. However more clarity is needed regarding your issues. Have you checked yourself for thyroid abnormality? I would be more than happy to help you come out of your problems. It is easily manageable. Some counselling and if needed medical help might be useful for you. You can directly consult with me through Practo. Discussions will be held confidential. Online chat consultation is also available.