Hello, All the issues that you have mentioned here are suggestive of a negative emotional and psychological state. Feelings of loneliness, ideas of guilt,stress, feeling pressured, forgetfulness,angst, emotional instability, etc all point towards a disturbed mental health. You need a person who can reflect back your thinking process to you and help you correct imbalances in your thinking process. Yes you may be correct in saying that you need a friend more than a doctor. However in my opinion a professional opinion in way of psychotherapy by a trained therapist is the best possible option. Hence my suggestion for you is to seek a consultation with a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist near you for comprehensive assessment and management... Psychotherapy or counseling will definitely help you get a better understanding and will pave a way to a more fulfilling experience of life.. Hope this helps you. Best wishes for your health and future..