Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help here. Appreciate your interest to address your problems through counseling. That's a right decision.
When in depression, it's better to ventilate your emotions, feelings and concerns to someone who listen to you like close friend or family members. If you can't find them, don't hesitate to take a professional counselling help. With such open discussions, I am sure you will be able to see a different prepective about yourself and about your problems with suitable solution.
Next Steps
Feel free to reach out to me online through Practo app for further detailed evaluation and suitable recommendation that you can follow practically to overcome depression. Be positive. You will be alright soon.