It sounds like you're experiencing significant distress and confusion surrounding your gender identity, which may be contributing to feelings of depression and uncertainty about your identity. These feelings, known as gender dysphoria, can be complex and challenging to navigate, particularly when they conflict with societal expectations or your own understanding of your gender.
Next Steps
Seeking support from a mental health professional who specializes in gender identity issues can provide valuable insights and support as you explore and understand your feelings more deeply. They can offer a safe and nonjudgmental space to discuss your experiences, explore your gender identity, and develop coping strategies to manage distress.
Health Tips
It's important to recognize that gender identity is a deeply personal and individual experience, and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to take the time you need to understand and accept yourself. Remember, you're not alone in this journey, and there are resources and support available to help you navigate through this process with compassion and understanding.