Hi Dear
I can feel a lot if things going on in your mind and a lot which is holding you back to express your emotions. It is very to know why you are feeling of what you are feeling.
If you don't have anyone to connect with try and express yourself on paper to better understand yourself.
Secondly try and spend sometime with your family out side , like going out for walks or may be some exercise or playing games with your child.
Next Steps
Visit a psychologist near you to better understand your situation and for guidance.