Hi! Thanks for coming out with this, it takes a lot of courage :)
The concerns you are facing are evidently having a significant effect on your life, because of which I would suggest that you reach out for help through therapy. In the mean time, there are also some self care techniques that you can practice. When you think you are feeling excessively anxious, or going through a panic attack, try and practice some breathing techniques or grounding techniques. You can use some GIFs available on the internet for breathing techniques (https://images.app.goo.gl/m2Sz4kkvLHRo7nLL7) to help guide your breathing, or practice techniques like the 4-7-8 (breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 and breathe out of 8) when you are experiencing extreme emotions. If you think you're too anxious and ruminating in thoughts, you can use Grounding Technqiues like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique (think of 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste). This will help ground yourself to the present. You can also try to meditate and/or exercise on a regular basis and this can have a significant positive impact on your mental health. Journaling in whatever form is prefer (writing, colouring, drawing or even doodling) can help you understand your emotions better. That said, I would still suggest you reach out for help through therapy. Self care technqiues can help manage the emotions you feel, and understand them better. However, therapy can definitely help you heal at a more deeper level.
Next Steps
Get in touch with me through this app. I'm a Bangalore based therapist, and we can schedule an offline or an online session. Take care, and more power to you! :)