Attachment is a characteristic of any relationship. Lack of healthy attachment leads to low self-esteem, high anxiety, and fear of abandonment. When we talk about childhood trauma, or anxiety, or any other emotional issue, they result as a consequence of the lack of security and lack of personal power to feel safe.

A secure attachment helps us to develop that power.

The first attachment relationship is formed with the primary care giver (mother, father, aunt, uncle, or day-care teacher), during Infancy (0-2 years) & serves to create a "love map" shaping children's understanding of their world and other people.

Whenever the infant cries, and its needs are met with a loving response or when they feel cold, the caregiver provides warmth, or when the infant is hungry and is fed by the caregiver. It begins to learn that people around me are trustworthy.  They don't need words to communicate this, however, starts to feel a sense of security and safety. And as they get older, they have a strong foundation to begin with.

Later in life, people tend to form relationship based on what they learn about the world, themselves and others during this initial relationship.

Functions of Early childhood Attachment:

  • Helps to meet the child's basic needs and help them learn that there is a safe place in the world where they are loved and cared for.
  • Helps the child develop self-awareness of their personal needs.
  • Help the child learn better emotional identification, distress tolerance, and healthy coping skills.
  • Provides a secure base from which children explore and learn to receive encouragement or comfort, safely without guilt or shame.

Functions of Adult Attachment:

  • Provides support and encouragement (continued secure "home base")
  • Serve as a resource in times of distress.
  • Provides love and unconditional positive regards regularly.

What does a Healthy Attachment look like?

  • Consistency
  • Responsiveness
  • Attention
  • Validation
  • Encouragement
  • Support

Although we can not always say the reason for trauma or anxiety are insecure attachment styles. Ther are various other biological, psychological, and social reasons. Yet for some people, the reason could be rooted in the attachment.