“Setting Boundaries”

- By Hemma DSouza -Counselling Psychologist- Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Neuro-linguistic therapy , Life Coach & Mental Health writer at Hilcy Wellness.

Setting Boundaries is the recognition of your personal space , allowing to define who we are, what we are responsible for, and what we are not. It’s good to set limits on our time, energy, and resources. It is unreasonable to expect to accommodate  100% and fulfill every need the other has. Boundaries aren't just necessary in your personal relationships, though. They're also needed in the workplace, employers could monopolize your time or disregard your needs. Not setting boundaries at work can reduce the quality of one’s personal life.Be the gatekeeper of your life , invite respect and understanding and prevent trespassing uncomfortable people and situations. This  does not mean building impenetrable walls but creating fences that protect us . Your wants will become less warranted; your needs less important without being assertive and setting strong boundaries.They are necessary for healthy relationships and personal growth. The physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual boundaries are essential for not only our own well-being but of others too. It’s a win-win. Not easy to enforce sometimes but essential as we grow. They give  a clear insight as to what is and isn’t OK.Boundaries are not literal walls, they are meant to protect us to create a safe space for connection not break relationships.  It requires us to sometimes say ‘ no ‘in order to protect our boundaries.Maintaining boundaries is our responsibility towards ourselves , we are in control of our feelings and actions. The boundaries we assert are  to be clear , don’t  expect others to mind-read. We cannot control how others behave , we can control our response  to them. You cannot please everyone.Setting Boundaries allows us to define who we are especially if respect is no longer being served. We are responsible for our own choices , it's notyour responsibility to know someone's true intentions, they may appear genuine to you, but their intentions towards you might be different that’s  why setting boundaries can be challenging, but its all worth it for a healthy fulfilling life , your own safe space and relationships. Remember, the only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none. The sooner you establish some ground rules, not only for yourself but for the people around you, the sooner you’ll find yourself saying “Yes” to a Happy you ! Gain respect and understanding the key elements within healthy relationships . ✨✨✨✨✨