Shattered. Help me to live. Father).

My confidence level has touched ground. Specially after my ex left me for the same (or/and other reasons). Also because my father left me. (I met my father when I was 16 and now I'm 25). Both my father(2008-09) and my ex boyfriend(2016-17) was in my life for one year. I don't like my mother's attitude but have no option so I live with her. All my mother side family members love me & so do I. But I badly miss my dad (specially after he left) and ex boyfriend. I know I cannot force anyone to be in my life. My ex pointed out my negatives most of the time so I corrected them (was his intention) but that has crushed me. I am shattered and fear to have any hope in life. I love both of them. I want them back but I also know I cannot force /beg which I already did. I feel terrible about myself. To add to these I am not happy with my job as well. I am not able to live. I am literally pushing my days lifeless. Please help. My childhood was good (though I missed a character called father).