My son is turning 3 years today. He is intelligent and while at home. However, he is very averse to interacting with most other people, kids or adults. This surprises me as he is used to staying at daycares since he was 3 months old (we are working parents). He is averse to even spending time with his grand parents and is most comfortable with us. Once he likes someone, he is absolutely fine with them. We have received feedback from his daycare and school about this and that he is possessive about a few items which he doesn't share. The teachers are trying to be a bit firm and we are trying our bit as well. We get him to interact with kids and others. The teachers mention that he has string preferences. He is hooked on to cartoons and rhymes in YouTube. Very worried about otherwise a very happy, fun loving and active kid who absolutely loves his family. Any guidance would be much appreciated.
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I think you need some light in parenting which might give you some enhanced awareness in parenting? ??
Please do not conclude and Label your own kid , just because some people are saying something.
He is just 3 yrs only. And being silent and not jovial is not a crime.
Give as much time to the kid, go for family gatherings. Introduce ur baby , play some fun games in a group etc for few months before seeing a doctor. If the problem is persistant then seek some professional help. Best wishes.
As you have rightly pointed out, your son is a child with his own preferences when it comes to people, things or shows. He also is deeply involved with or intensely attached to his preference. As for now, he seems to be happy & content in his world. However your concern is valid from the point of view of a person as social & interconnected being.
If we look at the way a child develops, there are few pointers which might help you to help him cope better with worldly expectations.
1. Possessiveness : It is the sign of intense attachment with the object combined with insecurity about loosing the same. As you both are working parents and happen to have an intense attachment with him, he wants to hold on to you as much as possible. He seems to be replicating same pattern with things in the daycare & also shows on YouTube. His anxiety or insecurity about loosing something dear to him has to be reduced hear by making him express his anxiety.
2 : Expression of anxiety : Observe his reaction when he looses anything & everything he is possessive about and eventually start asking him how exactly he feels at that point. Slowly make him understand that loss is temporary & he shall receive everything he needs by working for it & waiting. It is important to establish a channel of communication where he is comfortable expressing his anxiety.
3. Expand the preferred involvements: Observe him closely during interactions and find out what makes him like another person or a thing. Go in his way and ensure that he meets many people whom he finds likable. He needs people around him whom he may like not just in the professional environment of play homes but also in the carefree environment of home.
4. Mingle more with kids & grownups yourself while with him. He shall eventually follow. Kids tend to imitate & model those people they like & respect. They would say what you say however do what you do.
5. If there is a sibling in the equation..?? Things will automatically change..
5. Finally, please remember that he is expressing his nature, being facilitated by you. Preference for the depth is his strength, focus on broadening the array of preferences so that he has a wonderful life.
Take Care & Kudos to you for raising such a beautiful little guy..!!!
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