Love or Hatred? Know i if loved her?

Ok,so it has been almost 8 months since she left me.Honestly,our relationship was toxic,as she couldn't fulfill my sexual desires(sex chats, calls etc),she didn't feel pleasure from those and I always misunderstood her for these,used to start fights and breakup and patchup again and again. I was not happy with her fully but I never wanted to leave her and She also loved me truly but at the end she left me though I always had this over confidence that this girl will never leave me.She blocked me from everywhere,behaved with me so rudely after breakup whenever I tried to get her back.Till today I can't justify her decision besides the relationship was toxic though.I always think she could worked it out.I think It was 'toxic' only in her mind,not in reality,I might be wrong though.But if one day I see her on road and something bad is happening to her like somebody is fighting with her,or shouting at her on road or even slap her I will remain silent and pass by.I don't know I if loved her?