Life is torturing me. Advice. ty.

Hello doctor, I left the school after 10th standard because I had no interest in studies. In home alone for the past 5 years. My life has not been one smooth journey so far. My father had abandoned me and staying with my step mother. I was brought up by my paternal grandfather. Since childhood, I'm being suffering from some kind of mental disorders. I'm under treatment for that for the past 5 years. I always wanted to be a cricketer. 3 years ago I joined a cricket academy. I injured my acl soon after. So I was unable to continue there. I need to get operated for that. Since money is a big issue for us, I has been taking a lot of time for surgery. Now I planned to get operated within 2 months. After that I wanna join the academy soon. Cricket is my life and I'm mad about the game. I haven't played in any big tournament so far. It is impossible to become a cricketer starting at this age. I need to create history. I don't know how should I do it. Please provide me some valuable advice.Ty.