I am suffering from HOCD. To earlier.

From what i have figured out,i am suffering from HOCD , homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder. I used to watch excessive porn in my teenage and it affected my mental and physical health to the extent that i fell prey to this demonic illness. Constant thoughts about my sexually keep coming in my mind. I feel suicidal sometimes. I am not able to perform sexually with women. That is my main concerrn. Earlier i was perfectly fine. I was completely straight. Now also i dont like men but i get anxious ans my stressfull whenver i imagine or see a guy . I get fearfull that i may be gay. I want to have sex with women normally. I want to live life normally. But i am not able to do so.please help me recover from this hocd.so fhat i can live my life normally as i use to earlier.