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Feel very scared all time
My wife is very dominating. She is very supportive financially. She helps me with contacts as well. But when we don't agree with even small things she gets too angry  says to give me a divorce. She even threatens me wit law suit.  Please help me out. Thank you          
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Dr. Neerja Thergaonkar (PhD)
Clinical Psychologist 14 yrs exp Delhi
I understand that you feel threatened as you feel that your wife is domineering. As you mentioned, she does support you financially as well as in networking. However, in the face of a disagreement she has a tendency to  be controlling as well as threatened with a law suit which is causing you distress. In any relationship, especially marital, we define roles at the beginning. Any relation would be a give n take process between two people. Problem arises when the equilibrium of this balance goes wrong. As I see it, there appears to be 2_3 things which are happening to tip off the balance and which I feel you should look into. 1) What is the general theme of your fights. If you both seem to be fighting on the same topic over and over again, then that is an unresolved issue which needs to be addressed by both of you when you're in a better state of mind. 2) What  is the tone of your fight. Getting angry is natural especially with the person we live with 24/7 as proximity will give rise to negative emotions, however, there are certain rules of engagement (war). Things you need to ask yourself are, am I using hurtful language to win, am I getting distracted from the topic in discussion and going back to my agenda and am I sensitive to what my partner wants from me. Once you know the answers to these questions, half of your problems will be under control. 3) The most distressing situation for you as I understood was her threatening you with a lawsuit. Well, if you have been on the right path and have been doing what is expected out of you as a husband, you need not worry about it. It could be that she is just using it to make you listen to her point of view. Many times a person comes across as intimidating but in reality is extremely sensitive. You may explore that angle as a fresh start. All in all, starting a relationship is easy by maintaining it always requires hard work, dedication, trust, mutual respect for the individual as well as personal space and most importantly, love. Identify your problem areas and dedicate some time to resolve the issue together for things to work out. I hope looking into these aspects will help you resolve your conflicts. All the best!!
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