Family problems

I am 29.working lady. married for husband (only son of his parents) is loving caring. my parents in law also. BT all the decision big or small are taken by my mom in law. I feel just like a guest. if i give her any suggestion regarding household matters or other. she just ignore. my husband gives her mom a part of his salary for household matters. and the left portion also to her mom for savings. And this is very horrible for me.she act like the boss of family. in this situation I fell very anxious and uncomfortable and always try to avoid my home.I discuss it with my husband.BT i always get negative reaction as mom in law do all the household work by herself and never ask me to do anything.and she always show careness for me in front of my hubby.plz help me .situation is going bad day by day.
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Doctor Answers (1) on Family problems

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Ms. Sneha Bhat Bangalore | Counselling Psychologist
Hello My Dear, Have you observed kids..?? When they are born, they are like important guests in their own house however do they remain so..?? They don't. They eventually start playing an active role by placing in their own demands inline with their own expectations. Not every demand is fulfilled in the way they like however they have flexed their home and made space for themselves as active participants. You have a loving & caring environment at home where you & your husband are playing the role of little children to be cared for & protected. Now, please start thinking about the role you wish to play and it's characteristics. What all you wish to change..?? Start visualizing your role & bring it to action step by step. This sort of changes would imbalance the house. However little imbalance is good because that would set a new order & help every one in the family, change for better. Stop behaving like a guest and start behaving like a family members in very small things to begin with & alter the boundaries to make room for yourself. A counselor or psychologist can help you further if you find it hard to execute. Good Luck.
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