I can understand your pain and really sorry for your condition. None of us know if death is the solution of everything! So can we please consider meeting a new doctor or a new therapist again. It might change the situation. It's just an effort you need to give for yourself, like you have written your concern here. Please think about it; it can help you.

I’m really sorry that you’re in such deep pain right now but I can’t support or guide you in ending your life. What you’re describing is a medical emergency, and you need immediate, in-person help right now. Please don’t take those tablets or any alcohol. Mixing clonazepam and alcohol can stop your breathing and cause irreversible harm but you don’t actually want to die, you want the pain to stop. And that pain can be treated, even if it hasn’t felt that way so far. Right now, what matters most is getting you safe.

Hello there, Suicide is never an option for anything. To help you further I would need to have a consultation with you to know what triggered you, your challenges, what issues you are facing. I am sure, I could help you out of your suffering if you allow me to help you. Please let me know if you would like to proceed with a session.