When I become friends with someone I can't help but compete with them and grow jealous. But when I do this I become very stressed and I feel like I'm doing something wrong. So I feel guilty constantly. To avoid these feelings I run away from them. This stresses me a lot and create anxiety. I end up being lonely and I'm not a person who can be lonely. I've tried meditation but nothing is helping me. It is very miserable. May be I have low self esteem. I don't know. Help please.