I can understand how distressing this experience may have been for you. There are a lot of feelings that are resurfacing in your particular case. You feel abandoned by someone who you had grown fond of. She was with you, her husband, and another person, which made you feel like you were not "enough" for her in a way and caused you a lot of distress--so much so that you broke things off with her because she would only contact you for sex, but didn't crave the connection that you did. While you had feelings for her, she was emotionally unavailable. You feel angry that she "used" you in a way and left you feeling sad and depressed. You also feel sad that she didn't want you and your company the way you wanted her. You also feel jealous when you think of her with someone else. All in all, you feel like a fool--as if you were used and cheated. All the things that you're feeling are valid and anyone in your situation will feel the same things. It's important that you work through these emotions in therapy and overcome them once and for all. Here are some things to do when you're feeling down: 1. Channelize your energy into something positive--like working out or doing something that brings you pleasure. 2. Understanding why you're hurt. 3. Writing a letter to her (with pen and paper) and saying everything you wish to say to her. After you're done writing it, just burn it and watch it burn. If you're still married, there are signs that there's something missing in your relationship which got you to seek an affair. It is important to build a bond with your current partner and have your needs met.

Hello,  it's a positive sign that you want to come out of your problem. Human mind is already complicated , and you as a married man were involved in a physical relationship outside marriage. It makes it difficult. You need professional help.

Hi it seems you are disturbed lot with your past relationship. You're physically & emotionally bonded with past relationship. It seems you're unable to handle her relationship breakup. You want her for your needs. You need to take counseling to further explore & to make yourself strong to handle any life critical scenarios.

How about your wife.. Is she not been cheated all these while.. Atleast from now on give and be  100% for your family.. Use this phase this breakup for you to work your married life..

Thank you for reaching out for help. Human relationships are a rocky road that we all have to traverse and though all we need is security and assurance, sometimes these are the most difficult to come by.

Hello, Glad to know that you want to seek help, breakups are not easy to handle, it is emotionally overwhelming for you.Counseling sessions would help and certain areas need to be explored more.