It seems that you are facing some interpersonal issues and a loss of a relationship. You seem to be hurt and heartbroken. You are irritable, feel sad and not able to sleep. You are also feeling cheated, frustrated and having crying spells. It is difficult for you to accept the situation. You must be feeling helpless and unloved. Most of what you described are the symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Grieving is a normal process and I can understand that it must be difficult for you to deal with the situation and your emotions. Overcoming a loss of relationship is difficult and at times devastating. You need to seek help if it causing you distress and if you are unable to function in your daily life. You need to get a closure and accept the situation, it will be difficult but you can overcome the adversity. You may be feeling powerless in from of the situation and even hopeless. Seek support from a trusted friend, it will help you vent out your pent up feelings and emotions.
With a history of panic attacks, it is advised that you seek a clinical psychologist to get a detailed evaluation for proper treatment so that you can return to your normal happy self and start liking yourself and your smiling pics.
Next Steps
Consult a clinical psychologist to get a detailed evaluation done to work on the problem from the root cause.