Relationships are build on trust. After investing 8 years and unable to understand each other is quite challenging for a relationship to go smooth. Would recommend both to go for pre - marital counselling before getting declaring it officially. This would help both of you in understanding your current state of relationship and what is excepted out of the marriage.

Thanks for reaching out for help. Any relationship that falters when it comes to being true to yourself or trusting the other person completely will lead to dissatisfaction and mental stress. Understand that to proceed further in your relationship, you need to be comfortable not only with the other person but also with the kind of person that you are with them. I suggest you take an online appointment with me or any counselling psychologist or therapist to help you navigate your current confusions and doubts.

I understand your predicament. Relationships undoubtedly enrich the quality of our lives. To love and be loved is indeed one of the most rewarding experiences that life offers. Nevertheless, it is primarily essential to ensure one's psychological and physical well being, just like how a strong foundation is that component of a building that is built first. Before you begin to tackle any of the present challenges you are facing right now, kindly pay attention to the conflicts within you that may need to be addressed first. Once you do this, you will have the clarity to take a step in the right direction. Here are a few suggestions that could help you : Our attitude towards life in general and things in particular is based on our Beliefs - what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world. What are your core beliefs about yourself and the world? Try writing them down and examine the validity of these beliefs. Some of them may be limiting and negative in nature because of the kind of feedback you received while growing up - at home, in school, from your classmates, friends, relatives, etc. But once you are aware of them, you shed light on them,examine their truth, they can no longer manipulate your behavior or actions. As your beliefs change, your attitude changes, and words, actions and behavior follow. Here are a few links that could be helpful : https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41615 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41642 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41716 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41742 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41639 Step One https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41640 Step Two https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41641 Step Three https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41645 Step Four Take care.

I think you lack clarity and that leads to a lot of confusions and doubts.. Either you have to believe yourself and your choices--  including her.. I suggest you to consult a psychological Counselor for a therapy to get some clarity... You can also reach me by using the link given below :- https://prac.to/hema-sampath-psychologist-dir