I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What you describe sounds like chronic anxiety with depersonalisation/derealisation, depressive symptoms, and emerging body dysmorphic thoughts—all of which are treatable, even if they’ve lasted years.
Key points (short):
• Depersonalisation, restlessness, strange dreams → common in long-standing anxiety.
• BDD thoughts and attention-seeking distress → anxiety + low self-worth, not a personality flaw.
• Medication often needs time, dose adjustment, or change; April to now may still be early.
• CBT (especially for DP/DR and BDD) is essential along with medication.
• Meditation can worsen DP initially—this is normal, not dangerous.
You are not broken, and you don’t need to change your personality to heal. Please continue regular psychiatric follow-up and start structured therapy. Relief is possible.
Answered2026-01-22 04:47:48
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