This must be a very tough time for you to navigate through. From what you've written, I can tell that you've lost interest in things that used to give you pleasure earlier and have been feeling low, irritable, and frustrated. You also seem to feel aggressive at times and feel like you have to go through this all alone because no one understands you. Did I get that right?
These feelings might have been triggered by certain circumstances in your life. As you're in a lot of distress right now, I invite you to think about giving therapy a chance. A therapist can provide you with a safe space to share your thoughts, feelings, worries, and fears and help you understand your triggers and how to overcome them.
Next Steps
Seek therapy.