Hello, I can understand how difficult it must be for you to deal with your physical health (muscular atrophy), mental health ailment, and the stigma and ostracization you have had to face in light of these. Honestly the query does not provide enough information about your muscular atrophy, and the precise nature can help understand the course, prognosis, and the disablement caused. However the despondency and psychological distress caused seems to be significant and is leading to additional burden on a already taxed body. However be assured that your mental health condition is likely to benefit by a thorough assessment and subsequent management. Hence I would strongly recommend and urge you to seek a consultation with a psychiatrist near you for comprehensive assessment and management. Your physical health problems do put you at risk for mental health problems like depression, anxiety etc. However any further comment is best made after a thorough evaluation. Hope this helps you. Best wishes for your health and future... Please do remember that solutions can be found only if we seek the right path. And for you the right path seems to a comprehensive mental health assessment.