Hi... Is it caused after a major trauma? Considering your profession I believe you might be suffering from depression or PTSD. Do consult a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist. Such conditions can be effectively treated by a combination of medication and psychotherapy. Our mind also has a physical aspect and our thoughts & emotions are not absolute. They can very well be moderated using scientific techniques. You need to shed your inhibitions and seek professional help immediately.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychiatrist for a medical diagnosis and medications.
Consult a Psychologist for Counselling/Psychotherapy.
CBT along with Lifestyle Changes and Interpersonal Guidance and Counselling is required.
Health Tips
Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fECHB08?ref=cl