As a psychologist, I'll address your concerns one by one: Appearance and Bonding: While appearance can play a role in initial attraction, true bonding in a relationship goes beyond physical appearance. It's more about emotional connection, shared experiences, and mutual understanding. Focus on building emotional intimacy and connection with your partner through open communication and spending quality time together. Starting Conversations: If your partner shuts down conversations or avoids you, it could indicate underlying issues in the relationship. Try to approach conversations in a non-confrontational manner and express your desire for open communication. Consider couples therapy as a way to improve communication and address any barriers to connection. Financial Matters: Building trust and openness in financial matters is important for a healthy relationship. Start by initiating conversations about financial goals, concerns, and decisions together. Share your own financial information and express your desire to be a confidant partner. However, if he is unwilling to share, respect his boundaries but encourage ongoing dialogue. Initiating Friendship: Friendship is the foundation of a strong relationship. Find common interests and activities you both enjoy, and make an effort to spend quality time together. Engage in activities that promote bonding and create opportunities for meaningful conversations and shared experiences. Dealing with Extramarital Affairs: Infidelity can be deeply painful and damaging to a relationship. Consider seeking support from a therapist to navigate this difficult situation. Focus on setting boundaries, rebuilding trust, and exploring ways to strengthen your connection with your partner, especially considering the needs of your autistic child. Dealing with Cleanliness Differences: Differences in cleanliness preferences can be challenging but manageable. Find compromises that work for both of you and communicate openly about your needs and expectations regarding cleanliness. Respect each other's boundaries and preferences while finding common ground. Games for Buddy Time: Choose games that encourage teamwork, communication, and laughter. Board games like Scrabble, card games like Uno, or cooperative video games can be great options for bonding and having fun together. Initiating Physical Intimacy: Rebuilding physical intimacy after a long period of absence can take time and patience. Start by expressing affection through hugs, kisses, and cuddling, as you've been doing. Communicate openly with your partner about your desires and boundaries, and explore intimacy gradually at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you. Financial Investments: Whether to disclose financial investments is a personal decision that depends on your level of trust and openness in the relationship. Consider discussing it with your partner to foster transparency and mutual understanding, but respect his boundaries if he prefers not to share. Remember that building a strong and fulfilling relationship takes effort and commitment from both partners. Be patient with each other, communicate openly and respectfully, and prioritize the well-being of your family as you navigate these challenges together. If needed, seek support from a qualified therapist like us ...hence we can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation

You should connect with Counsellor

Oh dear it's all so subjective No answer applies all Consult with me let's talk in detail I'll remove all your doubts :)

Hi, Consult a psychologist for counseling sessions

I understand you are going through a lot . Counseling sessions ( both individual and marital) would help

Hi

Go to a psychologist and talk with him/her face to face

You need a couple counseling sessions to deal with your issue in a better way. You should book an online appointment with me.

Hi

Connect with psychologist to resolve this

You can connect with me

Float the idea of couple counselling. If your husband is not willing to engage in counseling, it's still valuable for you to seek therapy on your own. Individual counseling can provide you with support, guidance, and coping strategies to navigate the challenges you're facing in your marriage. It can also help you gain clarity, set boundaries, and develop healthy ways to cope with the situation, even if your husband isn't participating. Remember, taking care of your own mental and emotional well-being is important, and seeking therapy can be a proactive step towards personal growth and empowerment.

I can only imagine how difficult it must be to navigate these challenges in your marriage. Please know that you're not alone, and seeking support is a positive step towards healing and growth. It's important to approach these issues with empathy and understanding, prioritizing open communication and mutual respect.

Developing friendship and bond in marriage is possible. It requires the efforts of both partner.  Your desire to develop friendship shall be mutually shared among you two. I suggest you to have open communication  with your husband about your feelings and desires. There are various ways to work on the issues you mention but the main requirement here is  the willingness from husband's side. As you mentioned you have an autistic child taking care of the child and also struggle with such marital discord and also being aware about an affair seems like a genuinely hard situation from your side. Along with all that it must be lonely and overwhelming dealing with such situations on your own. I suggest you to start taking therapy for yourself which will help you establish boundaries and harmony in your relationship and help you learn to protect yourself emotionally while having a deeper understanding and confidence in yourself. Along with if you can convince your  husband to take the couple therapy with you that will be the best option to go forward. From what I can feel your self esteem and confidence in self is highly compromised  currently any quick fix will not be helpful in the long term. For a healthy relationship we require a healthy us to maintain and work on it. My apologies if something in this message you find opposing your views.  I really hope things get easier and better for you soon. Takecare.