Hi. I went through your query and can understand what you must be going through. From the description that you have given, it seems that you are suffering from symptoms of underlying depressive disorder. Irritability, lack of confidence, feeling sad, tiredness, negative thoughts, hopelessness are all symptoms of depression. Depression is a treatable condition. Medications and psychotherapy will help you recover completely. Please seek a psychiatric consultation and get yourself evaluated. Accordingly treatment can be initiated.