Hello, Your description provided here is mostly suggestive of Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). The best way forward for you is to seek a consultation with a Psychiatrist near you. A detailed assessment will be done along with some basic blood tests. Thereafter treatment can be started for you. Management of Obsessive compulsive disorder is best carried out by a combination of mediation and psychotherapy, hence that would be the most preferred approach. Thereafter response can be monitored and dosages can be adjusted as per your response. Hope this helps you. Best wishes for your health and future.