Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help here. Good you are able to analyse your problem and open to ask help.
The symptoms you mentioned are just an expression or outburst of anxiety and stress in your mind. However it needs further evaluation and can't be discussed in open forum, advice you to take a professional psychology expert help to discuss your problem in detail. Surely you will find a suitable solution to overcome.
Next Steps
Feel free to reach out to me online through Practo for further detailed evaluation recommendation. Be positive. You will be alright soon.