Dear Practo user you have mentioned so many issues in single paragraph.
We can solve each issue one by one because during this confusion there are many thoughts running simultaneously.
Without knowing motive of life please do not think about end
Suicide is a sin also
Please please consult with psychiatrist /psychologist or talk to your family /neighbours to whom you know
Call on local helpline if possible.
Next Steps
Consult psychiatrist
Call helpline number
Health Tips
Without knowing aim of life, it is useless
So try to find aim of life