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I can't help myself
I am anya and I am suffering from depression bipolar idk what from years now the reason is idk me maybe I just want someone soft spoken not the typical therapist who listens to me who just helps me get out of the condition I am in rn. Yes I want to run away from home because I hate the environment it doesn't mean my mom doesn't love me but is it the right way? She doesn't understands me and I am tired of making her understand that nothing is wrong with me I am normal she says 'accept that you're not normal you're a psycho' god forbids I take my side I can't speak I can't talk back I can't go out I can't go out of the city to study I can't do anything and it's so frustrating I hate someone holding me back i love freedom can you please help me please I need help please understand me please talk to me call me know me just help me find me please
1. My Opinion (As a Psychiatrist):
Dear Anya, I truly hear the pain and emotional isolation you're going through. It sounds like you are facing both internal distress and external misunderstanding, especially from your immediate family. The way your feelings and needs are being invalidated is deeply concerning. Labels like “psycho” can be extremely damaging, and they reflect stigma, not truth. Your desire to find a compassionate, soft-spoken mental health professional is absolutely valid — healing begins when you feel heard, not judged. Your situation could be linked to depression, bipolar disorder, or a personality-related condition, but a proper diagnosis is only possible after an empathetic, structured clinical evaluation.
Next Steps
. Next Step (What You Should Do):
Please seek an in-person or online consultation with a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist at the earliest. You can even request for a female therapist if that makes you more comfortable.
Therapy — especially with someone you feel safe with — can help you slowly untangle years of hurt, anger, and confusion.
Medication might be needed if you are diagnosed with a mood disorder, but it will only be prescribed after careful assessment.
If you're unable to step out or get permission from home, try online platforms offering confidential therapy options
Health Tips
3. Helpful Tips / WORD OF CAUTION:
You are not “abnormal” — your feelings are real, your pain is valid, and recovery is possible.
Don’t suppress your voice; speak up safely — in therapy, in support groups, or even through journaling if nothing else.
Do not act impulsively or try to run away. It may seem like the only escape, but it might expose you to more danger.
Family sometimes needs psychoeducation too — if possible, a family session can help them understand your condition better.
Avoid self-harm and don’t stay alone if suicidal thoughts come — talk to someone you trust or seek urgent psychiatric help.
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Anya, as you have mentioned your distress and family environment, I will advise you to plan a consultation online or in person as per your wish with all medical records and previous consultation. More details regarding your distress and problems will be assessed, further if needed medication will be optimised.If possible or you wish, your parents or caretaker can also join in consultation. Do not bother too much, many of us are suffering with BPAD and with proper management (medication, relaxation exercises, daily activity schedule, sleep hygiene, therapy if needed) a person with BPAD lives a normal life. Most important is the adherence to the treatment and regular follow up of your doctor on whom you should have trust.
Next Steps
follow as discussed above
Health Tips
do not lose hope
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