Respected Client,
Your seems to have depression features and don't know how to cope up that.
Kindly consult Counseling Psychologist for evaluation and therapy.
If you still persists suicide ideation, consult psychiatrist.
Next Steps
1.can try thought diary ( just write all your feeling in that and tear that paper with full consiousness.)
2. Talk to your best friend
3. Do the leisure activities which you have done before these depression features.
4. Focus why you feel like these, work out on thought process and think positive.
5. love yourself and you most important in this world and to your parents.
6. trust ,all your problem will fade away soon