Hello,
Firstly, I am extremely sorry about your mother's health. I can understand how much of distress you maybe going through. But this is something that is out of your control. The best thing for you to do right now is calm yourself down. You are afraid and its completely understandable. But suicide is not a solution. You have a beautiful life ahead of you and you need to live that life gracefully.
Whatever problems you are going through may not be as big as it may seems. Everything has a way out and so does your problem.
Next Steps
Talk about this with your friends. They might be able to give the comfort you are seeking. Speak to a counsellor in your city or here on practo and get professional help for your problem. This is a phase and it will go away. But you really need o talk to someone about your problem. Keeping to yourself will increase the pain and confusion.