Looks like you have acute addiction problem but not sure if it is alcohol or substance? Obviously if you are not feeling the things that you feel when you are intoxicated, your brain will send you signals to go back to alcohol or drugs. It is a difficult phase and requires lot of mental strength to stop it.
Next Steps
refer a de- addiction center where you shall be trained and medicated to stop your addiction.
Health Tips
take help from your friends and family who can be with you or motivate you to avoid your urge. think about that one thing you wanted to do or some activity in which you get engrossed. rigorous physical activity like some sports is a very good remedy to destress and release toxins. pls practice them sincerely it will be difficult but you will get better.