Kindly look at all the things that you value, your son, your parents....god...and let yourself know that suicide is not a solution to anything. You are in a severe state of depression and right now require support - both professional( doctor) and personal(family). Seek it actively, come out of your shell and communicate; with your parents, your friends and also meet a psychiatrist to help you deal with this more effectively. Remember, change is the law of nature and that this too shall pass..good luck.