Hi,
Sorry that I heard you're facing so many challenges. All these symptoms are related to one thing wich is a traumatic event and emotionally unstable... May be something happened for you recently which you feel guilty. This happens when we lose a person/loved ones and we think that it was our fault and we start to blame ourselves... Then little by little this kind of symptoms appear.
If something like this happened in your life, please consult a psychologist/therapist as soon as possible. You need someone professionally help you to get rid of all these thoughts...
Please do take care.
Next Steps
please remember that anything happens, has a reason... nobody's fault and nobody is guilty...
I am sure talking with a psychologist will help you.