Hello Friend, Thanks for ackowledging your problem and seeking a help. Don't worry. Every problem has a solution.
Take the next to discuss your problem in detail will a counseling experts. I am sure you will be able to see a different prepective about yourself and about your problem with suitable solution. Preferably choose online counseling as it will be convenient and easy for you to approach.
Next Steps
Don't hesitate to consult a Psychologist directly or online. Feel free to reach out to me online through Practo for further detailed evaluation and suitable recommendation that you can follow practically to overcome this mental stress. Be positive. You will be alright soon.