If you have fever for one month you go and see a doctor. Then why do you ignore chronic low mood and suicidal thoughts? Get help for it. Suicidal thoughts means you need medication. Medication should be taken regularly for it to be effective. Once you better with medication then you can get counselling too.

Seek the help of a counsellor first. Emotional support very often helps & you may not need medication. Even if you have been prescribed medication, do take counselling support. Talk to someone about how you feel.

Dear Member, as mentioned by you, self motivation works sometimes and other times the disorder is stronger. At such times, instead of fighting and waiting, it is better to seek external support. You have taken your first step by asking. The best route in your case, since it is becoming serious and risk alarm (suicidal feeling) has been raised - kindly contact a psychiatrist asap! Start your medication. Then with some relief, you can start off your psycho-therapy for long term benefits and building your coping skills.