Hello dear,
I can understand the distress and difficulties depression causes to a person. However it is very important to please understand that depression is very much like any other medical disorder in the sense that treatment must be taken for the same.
Depression is a treatable condition and my sincere suggestion for you is to please seek a consultation with a psychiatrist for comprehensive assessment and further management.
Do not please hesitate or delay in seeking help as delay can lead to complications.
Hope this helps you. Best wishes for your health and future.
Next Steps
Please do not isolate yourself, share your thoughts and problems with those who care for you like your family or friends, maintain regular diet, sleep. Engage in some light physical exercise, pursue a hobby of your choice.
And please do seek help. You are not alone, if you seek the first step...