Hello, based on what you are saying, it sounds like you may have clinical depression. It is important that you seek professional help soon especially since you are experiencing suicidal thoughts. Depression is a illness like any other and can be successfully treated with medication and therapy. Please don't delay seeing a psychiatrist
Next Steps
Visit a psychiatrist preferably with someone who you trust and is close to you (eg. a parent).
Health Tips
If the suicidal thoughts increase immediately tell someone close to you. Avoid being alone at this moments