Hello. It seems like you are very overwhelmed and upset. As a young adult, there are often times that we consider taking drastic steps, which may not be safe or healthy for us. Please seek immediate help from a psychiatrist or a counselling psychologist to reduce these suicidal thoughts as well as help cope better. Similarly getting in touch with family and network of friends who can support you through this may prove helpful. Seeking support is a courageous act that I strongly encourage you to consider.