Hi I would need more information to be able  to help you out. What do you mean by someone following your steps? Please elaborate with a example. Moreover are there any repetitive behaviours that you feel compelled to perform.

I think  you are getting disturbed  by your behavior and Consequences of it. Everybody has the right to opine as you and me. To understand  and accept those you need clarity. For that,  do consult a psychologist.

Hi. Negative thoughts can be due to underlying depressive or anxiety disorder. Whenever mind is preoccupied with multiple thoughts, our ability to concentrate decrease and leads to difficulty in memorization. Irritability and hopelessness also are symptoms suggestive of depressive disorder. However, you will need a complete psychiatric evaluation for a definitive diagnosis. With adequate treatment, you will start feeling better.