I had constant negativity during relationship. I had preference regarding how my partner should be. This imagination is getting compared with her in terms of physical appearance that triggers desire of a romantic relationship. But since I broke up last feb 2021, i am still in that mindset to get back to her , by constantly struggling with thought process, pattern. But I know if I return back this preference will be compared with her. That will lead to again negativity . I want to be positive if I get back to her. Help me please.