I cant speak with people making eye contact for more than 2minutes.Have no friends.I distance myself from people who get personally involved in my life.I dont like sharing my personal life because its a blunder.My alcoholic father who used to beat my mother died when I was a 2yr old which was followed by issues like people looking down on me including my relatives.People being sympathatic yet being cunning with a small kid.So these feeling of betryal,jealousy,anger,fear,lonliness came very early to me which exagerated when had a cunning step father who on the outside was a very helpful person and on the inside a complete self centered person and mean step brothers who were always competetive of me.My only trustworthy person my mom's attention was divided and saw her being physically involved with the step father leaving me at side.I felt comfortable being lonely.Started developing anger and used to burst out.got no understanding.Married now for more than 1yr and not consumated.