Hey, Though the depth of the situation is not clear from the question, let me see if I correctly understand what you are trying to say. You are a married man who is also greatly attached (like/attracted to/love..??) to another woman. In between something has happened to heighten your confusion and tension. You feel extremely guilty and helpless about possessiveness or it's consequences which could be related your marriage or behavior of woman you are possessive about..!!?? Now the question is about the extent of commitment, intimacy & attraction which is there in your marriage compared to those related to your muse. Please consult a psychologist/counselor as soon as possible to clear your mind and take hold of situation. I am sure you have it in you to get over the possessiveness if you want to.