Hi there , may be u know urself better but a psychiatrist knows ur illness better. Just drop by ur shrink and make him understand u. Dat we he can comprehensively guide or suggest u with or without medications. If it is nt an illness dats affecting ur life so much den probably we gotta change definition of a disorder or impairment. Try to come to terms with reality and take help since its so obviously out of ur hands now. No matter if its not through medicines but help is still gud. Sometimes an outsider can reframe an rearrange ur problem statement so well dat we just surprise ourselves with such an obvious solution. Hope u don't take this otherwise. Take care.