Hi. Your statement shows that you are undergoing depression and stress. You are trying to be cheerful which you cant do nowadays. You are searching place to be alone and feel like crying . Is it so? You have tried common remedy. Not bad. But do visit a psychologist. They will analyze the depth and the core problem. Your depression can be brought down. Pls dont worry. You have many things to see in your life. Getting proper and healthy counselling will pave way for your happiness. You don't need medicine but you need counselling. You can also get online consultation if dont find a suitable direct one.