Hello. Inerpersonal problems in couples is a common occurrence. The problems you have mentioned are the themes which most of the couples have conflict on. By telling about the commonality of your problems, I am not trying to undermine your problems. As the problems in your case are long standing and causing significant distress, marital counselling will be able to help you. The process involves participation by both the partners in joint or separate sessions. Multiple sessions are required to define the problems, develop problem solving skills, resolve the various conflicts etc. Regards.