Ur case is too deep as ur problens starts from childhood .I think u must consult psychologist and take counselling and psychotherapy online or offline . From childhood we had experiences some incident ,which causes impression on our personality and mentak faculty.We have  grown certain behaviour for that.But with the help of behaviour therapy u can overcome all of these. Best wishes... Feel free to contact anytime.

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Hi thanks for query. I understand you are going through tough time, sorry for your situation. I appreciate you are able to identify the difficulty and need to  cope with the same. Yes it is related to anxiety and lower level of self confidence, but you said it is from childhood, I think most of your emotions are bundle up from so many days resulting in various disturbance. 1. Will work on your expectations, 2. Confidence and emotions how do you handle in different situation. There are various ways the psychologist will deal and support the patient. You can contact them at the earliest. If required more assessment you can contact psychiatrist also. Take care stay positive.