I understand your situation. You seem to be suffering from few psychotic symptoms. More clarity is needed regarding your problem to decide on the severity of your condition. However it is easily manageable with appropriate treatment so that dysfunction due to the same can be reduced and your quality of life will improve. Some therapy sessions and if needed medical help might be useful for you. I suggest you consult a nearby psychiatrist for a detailed evaluation. I would also be more than happy to help you with that if you are looking for online assistance. Discussions will be held confidential. You can directly consult with me through Practo as needed. Online chat consultation is available.